PREVENTING UNWANTED FEELINGS

Unwanted feelings normally distructs our valuble time/ energy.

Feeelings are often associated with upcoming events. Worry and guilt are brilliant examples for this.
You worry about the future events that are never going to turn out. You feel guilty about events in the past since you were incorrect.
In both cases your present is being spoilt by being upset needlessly over past or future moments.

Now here is the vital question: What can be done to prevent such unproductive, unwanted feelings?
It is important to be realistic facing this question. The plan is to prevent feelings of unhappiness rather than to exchange them momentarily for feelings of ecstasy.

There are two options proposed by experts to move out of this destructive situation.The sequential events that happen to hinder your productive time/activity is shown below:

An exterior incident or occurance>>>>generate>>>>Various internal judgement and ideas>>>>generate>>>>An unnecessary feeling>>>>generate>>>>Hindered behavior/activity .

Now let us discuss the options to move out of this situation:

Option 1: Avoid external events

As the whole series of events begins with an external event, one option is to recognize the external event that tends to activate unproductive feelings and to organize yourself to avoid the external events. You can ask yourselves:” what external event has caused this feeling?”
If you can identify it, ask yourself “Can I do any thing to avoid or decrease my revelation to this external event in the future?”

If the reply is yes, figure out a suitable avoidance plan. If the answer is ‘no’ avoidance is not workable in this case and you should go for Option 2

Option 2: Change the thoughts and beliefs

Interfere among the thoughts/beliefs and their resulting feelings. Our scheme here is intentionally replacing the thoughts that generate the fruitless feeling. This kind of feelings should be controlled.
This sort of control is tough for emotional people to perform and hence they are the ones who need it most! Generally their heart rules their head.
It is easy to become subject to some frequent unrealistic thoughts or beliefs that throw you into deep misery/guilt when ever they are violated. This question can be asked yourselves:” How can I may more effective use of this present moment?”.
Force yourself to think of an effectual here -and- now action strategy, then go ahead and do it.
Process

Other ways of thoughts have been proposed by experts to save you from unproductive feeling. They are all mindful thoughts and once you have experimented with them you will be able to take up your favorites or replace them with your own. Examples are:
No one can make me uncreative
I will make decision how/ what to do about that
Myself and only myself is the captain of my feelings
I am good enough
It can be done by me
It is reasonable to-
Why should I prefer to feel disturbed?
Why should I let him/her choose how I am going to feel

“Man doing nothing in negative events is a man dead”.

PRIORITIZING SKILLS

Majority of the duties we handle in a day may appear to be important by the same token to us. However, if we watch them closely, it can be seen that most of them are not so urgent tasks that need immediate care to be executed.
We all have faced days where we feel so confused that we do not know where to start or how to start the daily tasks. When the day finishes, we ends up with most of the jobs undone. The main reason behind this situation is the lack of prioritizing the tasks. Often, unknowingly, we give importance to un important tasks.
Using prioritizing skills, you can perform most important duties rapidly which may throw you into trouble if undone.
Beauty of prioritizing skill is that it can be used for both scheduled and unscheduled activities.
You can number the tasks: 1, 2, and 3 in accordance with the significance. You should perform the number 2 job only after finishing the number 1. While prioritizing, you should check whether any of the tasks can be wiped out from the list which may kill your valuable time pointlessly.
Coming to unplanned activities, you should ask yourselves if this is important, or will this job interpret your key duties. If the job requires importance, go for that.
Remember, prioritizing should not depend on importance of the job to be done; it depends on the consequences, if that job is not done.
Be ready to face the hindrances. If your task requires high level importance, put your phone in silent mode. Make plans to deal with the interruptions.

THE POWER OF CREATIVE VISUALIZATION

Creative visualization is a mental practice that makes use of the thought process to make dreams come true. This concept came into discussion in the yearly years of nineteenth century. Many psychologists and motivational speakers have discussed about this subject in their books. Walles Wattles who wrote ‘The science of getting rich’ have penned about this subject in detail.

Creative visualization exploits the supremacy of mind that can be utilized to change the future.

Every successful people have consciously or unconsciously used this tool for their achievements.

Brief explanation

People who think they are unlucky, unappealing, unloved, eventually ends up in the same situation in future. They will never move out of that state.
In contrast, those who feel they are lucky, successful, esteemed, will fall in that group in over a period of time.
When thinking about positive things you want to materialize happens to be in your regular habit, you will start doing things that make those things happen subconsciously.

The following things might have happened in your life:

(a)You may be thinking about somebody and that person calls you unexpectedly.

(b)You may think of a bad thing that can happen in your life and that happens.

(c)You had a passion/desire for many years and that happened.

These eventualities are part of creative visualization which you used subconsciously.
This is a cosmic subject that needs too many pages to discuss; I am making it in a capsule module for all of us to digest.
Creative visualization has to be done when you are alone without any distractions.












Tips to perform creative visualization:

1) Close your eyes; choose your desire or objective.

2) Relax free so that your visualization can be carried out without any complexity.

3) Breathing is a factor that decides the level of control of mind. Inhale and exhale deeply. Put your focus in breathing.

4) Think that you are a success, what ever happens, you will swim towards even more achievements.

5) Create a picture of end result in mind. Think about the changes in your life that turns out when your dream comes true. For example if you want to be a well-known writer, visualize the fame that comes in and the transformation in your personal and social life. (You may not have a clear vision in the first attempt, when you practice regularly, you can see them in a frame with more clarity.)

6) Believe that those dreams are going to materialize and you already half the way through.

Point to be noted: This exercise can be carried out whenever you get time. (Even in the toilet!!!!)

After effects:
1) You will be more focused towards success.

2) Unknowingly, you will start doing things that takes you to your dreams.

3) Negatives will never affect your activities

Tail end: Thanks to Suraj Raghavan ( Nexus Insurance Brokers, Dubai) for suggesting this subject.

WHO IS WITH YOU?

It was few days back, that a friend and well-wisher of mine shared some thoughts with me. I thought of carving up few of them in the blog.

Have you felt in life at any moment that the whole effort you make in your life, or the challenges you goes through is going unobserved? How will you feel when your loved ones put the blame on you without understanding the struggles you make for their contentment? That is the point where you really feel that you are unaided. That is where you pretend to be happy outside and disturbed deep inside.

This can result in lack of focus in your work, getting unnecessary incensed, or development of other physical or physiological problems.

Have you conveyed the fact that all efforts you do is for their betterment?

Have you discussed about the steps you have taken or you are about to take in life/ career?

Do they realize about the disparity that happens in the absence of your sweats ?

It is not necessary that all your activities should be turned out positively. But the efforts you put in deserve appreciation. There is no harm in expecting a warm hug or soothing words when you are down. The same people who put you down when things go wrong will be the first ones to show up and cheer for you. (They may even claim the credit for your success!) .

· If you feel what you are doing is right, and the outcome will be fruitful, go ahead, let the cheerleaders come later.

· If your loved ones are not consoling you, forget the fact. They are the ones loosing the most important moments in life.

· For a hill, there is a valley. If there is tension and pain, there will be happiness and pleasure. Let it come when your time arrives.

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. - Anne Frank

HANDLING THE INSULTS

The most taunting situation in life is facing insult in a group or social circle. Being insulted in front of a group is an assault to self respect. At any point of life, everyone has faced this situation. Insult can come from your co-workers, friends, seniors etc.

Mostly, insults use to happen in front of a public. There may be many reasons for this, like the pleasure of knocking you down before the mass, making you a subject of laughs etc.

Never take the insults too deep to heart because it may harm your self confidence. Keep your buoyancy unbroken.
If it is possible you can avoid him or the group. In most cases it is not possible because the mass may be your co-workers or people whom you are suppose to meet more often. Here ‘walk away’ strategy also will not work out.

It is not necessary that you should handle bullying with your mouth. Sometimes silence or a sharp look is enough for the insulter. With this others may feel that what he has done is not appropriate. But if you really feel that his behavior is going to make a big damage to your individuality, there is no harm in using few words back. But the point that should be noted here is that you should be more careful with the words that you choose. This should not bring more harm to the situation.

Another way-out is holding your patience and wait for you time. When you get a reason, pull him down. But this should be in a diplomatic way. You should not be a bad guy in front of others.

Let me conclude with a story that I once heard, which I think will be apt for this subject:

An old man was sitting in a coffee shop. One drunkard shows up and sits near him. For no reason this drunkard starts using bad words to him. Old man remains calm and sips the tea. The abusing goes non-stop; still our senior is engaged in drinking tea.
After some time he turns to the bad guy and asks:” Tell me, if you are giving a present to someone and he does not take it, whose is that gift then?”
“Of course mine you idiot, because it was me who gifted that” he replies.
The old man smiles and says: “You are true my kid. I am not taking your bad words, It is all yours.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< When you have to put up with mean and hateful people, think of them as sandpaper. They may scratch you, rub you the wrong way, but eventually you end up smooth and polished...and the sandpaper...it’s just gonna be worn out and ugly

TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE..............................

THANK YOU FOR CARING ME,
THANK YOU FOR KNOWING ME,
THANK YOU FOR LEAVING YOUR SOUL WITH ME,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORRIES ABOUT ME,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
YOUR HEART IS SAFE WITH ME,
I WILL ALWAYS SLEEP WITH YOU,
WAKE WITH YOU AND WALK WITH YOU...

WHY DON’T YOU RELAX?

Relax... Relax... Relax…. Let me explain.
More or less every human being normally has stress or strain through their jobs or personal lives. We live in an express paced globe where finding time to loosen up is rather unthinkable. People may not have enough time to do relaxation exercise or other stuffs like yoga.
Studies prove that unnecessary strain may bring in mental and physical problems. Stress can lead you to depression or related concerns.
Fortunately, there are so many simple ways for you to stretch out in your rapid schedule which can change your mood of the day. Let me place a few of them down:
1) Use pleasant smelled perfumes: Let it be body spray, room freshener or the one you use in the vehicle, if it delivers pleasing fragrance, it can change your entire mood. Studies have proved it factual.
2) Close your eyes: Close your eyes for some time. Forget where you are. Forget what you are. Forget your manager is going to kill you if you did not get the job done. Forget everything for few minutes. Take slow, deep breaths. Open your eyes slowly. Tell me how you fell then.
3) Diversify your day: Repeating the same jobs every day may bring your mood down. Try something different for a change. Skip from the normal schedule some times.
4) Listen to soft music: Soft and comforting music is a better way to make changes in your mood. It will be a soothing experience, washing out your stress gently…
5) Try self massage: Bring your palm together, rub them in circles until they become warm. Believe me, this is a scientifically proven way to stretch out. Rubbing the feet together is another way.
6) Get some air: Walk a little. Get some good air. Let the body interact with the nature. See what is happening out side. Feel them.
7) Phone your best friend: Dial him, talk to him. You will feel relived once you hang up.

"To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment."

Jane Austen

STORY OF HIM

They made the rules,
He broke them.
They were with the dictation,
He stood with his own decision.
They had choices,
He did not have any choice.
They had their limit on the sky,
His limits were beyond that.
They had relations to maintain,
His relationships were already wrecked.
They had millions of weapon,
Gallantry was his only scepter.
They were covered in the shells,
He took the position by himself.
They called for him,
He did not answer.
They searched for him…………………
He was dead.

HOW TO BECOME ACCEPTABLE

Of late, I received a mail from one of my blog readers. The subject was, she is having problems in building relationships and she is facing rejections from the acquaintances. She asked me if I could write about ‘Tips to get accepted ‘.
There are no such rules or easy tricks for being accepted among the people you hang out with. I am not going to drop any ‘easy tips’ for this subject as this area has to be unleashed from within.
Still, for those who are fascinated in exploring this area, let us discuss how we can re arrange our attitude or personality to be a good social animal.
1) Be conscious: Be conscious of so many things. Be conscious about how others perceive you. Be cautious about how you present yourselves. It can depend on so many factors. Let us explore this area further below.
2) Say your piece: Should be well balanced, confident about what you say. Do not babble on with unwanted pause, muttering etc. Place your opinion. Do not worry about the disagreement. You made clear what you felt (Make sure you are not hurting somebody’s feelings). Observe people who are good at relation buildings. You will find this point relevant.
3) Become friendly: Open the doors and windows. When it is closed no air comes in. When you are opened with others, then only they can open up with you. You don’t have to spend money to fix a smile on your face.
4) Make others happy: Money is not the single thing involved in making others happy. A few pleasant words can do a good contribution on this area. Be careful about picking the words in talking or mailing.
5) Don’t argue too much: There is no need to throw your opinion on anything and everything. We know people who fall out on conversations and argue on everything. Don’t we feel irritated with them? Keep your opinion in your pockets if not asked. Remember, no prize is offered for argument winners.
6) Be careful in criticizing: “oh….. Look at your dress!!!! You look like a cow!!!!” Will you tolerate some talking to you like this? Some people always find joy in criticizing fellow folks. It is not necessary that all should take criticism positively. So think twice before you do that. But don’t hesitate if you get a chance to compliment others. Everyone likes compliments (Just like us!!!)
7) Do what you are good at: One cannot be 100 percent people’s man. People can find thousands of reasons to criticize others. You cannot satisfy the whole word and move on. Go ahead with what you feel good. When you become success they will accept you.
8) Be cool: Be relaxed, collected, self organized in dealing with things. People like to be with the company of this kind.

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
-David Brinkley

TIPS TO AWAKEN YOUR INNER POWER

Few people know about this. Most of the people don’t. There is a good friend inside us which we have never recognized. Once we discover him, our life and destiny will be changed forever. For being successful in life, awakening of INNER POWER is very necessary. Below are tips to wake your inner power:

1) HAVE CLEAR VISION: Clarity is important factor for building up inner power. Though having goals is important, you should have a clear vision for them. Goals should be achievable ones. Set one goal at a time and plan for that. Setting too much goals at a time may distract your mind and may result in failures.
2) CUT OFF THE NEGATIVES: If you have a dictionary, circle the word –'positive'. Positive attitude can bring wonders in your life. There is a saying: ‘changing the face can do nothing, but facing the change can do everything’.
3) LEARN: Have you checked the last four spelling of the word ‘Learn’? That is: 'earn'. You can earn respect, money etc. by acquiring knowledge. It is not necessary that you should burry yourselves in books all the time for gathering knowledge. You can gain this by browsing the net, communicating with wise people, watching informative channels in television or even by watching the surroundings.
4) BREATH HARD: When you are down with worries, take deep breath. Practice this, you can bring down your nervousness and summon energy in you.
5) FIGHT: You may be defeated in hundred battles, but remember, the WAR is still ahead. Fight with your problems, never agree defeat. There is a saying: ‘Man doing nothing in problems is like the man dead’
6) LET OTHERS LIKE YOU: If we reframe John .F.Kennedy’s famous quote for our subject, it will be like this: “Ask not what others can do for you, Ask what you can do for others.” Be the people’s man. Help others if you can. The satisfaction you get by being appreciated is unbelievable. This will ignite your inner power.
7) DON’T BE ALONE:’ An idle mind is devil’s workshop’. People may attract negative energy when they spent more time alone. Mix with the society. See what is going on outside. Go for a trip. Don’t be idle. Note: We are blessed with ‘86400’ seconds a day!!! Please don’t waste that.

“Heaven never helps the man who will not act”
-Sophocles

EASY WAYS TO FIND HAPPINESS

Life is not just the matter of wealth, pride or something else. The basic is simple: Its happiness and joy.Human being is not hardware to be programmed for happiness all the way. But there are scientifically proved ways to make people happy in their life. They are simple to be implied. Let’s look over this program to achieve happiness:
Be with happy people: Why should you hang around most of your time with people who are always depressed, complaining about things around? Try to spend your time with people who are jovial. Try to be in touch with them. Mail or phone often friends who made your time happier in the past. Remember, their one mail or voice can change your mood of the day.
Think about solutions: We all have this problem. We always worry about the problems, then think and sink in to it. Shall we not think about the solutions first? Things would be even better if we do this and if possible discuss with somebody you rely.
Discuss: This is continuation of previous one. Look around, there are so many people who loves you, care you. Discuss your problem with him/her/them. This can at least lighten your heart.
Appreciate yourselves: Every individual are unique. You are unique. You have qualities others don’t have. Think about that. Find your uniqueness. Remember how many times in your life you got appreciation from others for your good work. Appreciate yourselves for that.
Do what you love: You love music? Listen to that. You love movies? watch them often. Entertain yourselves with your passions.( If you love to jump from a ten storied building, please don't do that--just kidding)
Kill the past: I had a friend who had a love failure. Once in depression he drugged himself and drove in to a street wall to kill himself. (Don’t worry; he is safe, only person who suffered from this was his dad who had to pay a good sum for repairing the car and legal activities). Can we relive the past and clear the mistakes? Answer is obviously ‘NO’. So, ‘kill the past’ and think about the future. People whom you love are waiting for you there. They want you to be happy. So, cheers!!!!!
“A HAPPY LIFE CONSISTS OF NOT IN THE ABSENCE, BUT IN THE MASTERY OF HARDSHIPS”-HELEN KELLER

ayvan: SUCCESS RULES FOR SELF MOTIVATION

ayvan: SUCCESS RULES FOR SELF MOTIVATION

SUCCESS RULES FOR SELF MOTIVATION

Are you a person who needs to become something, or mark your personality in the society or make more money? Then you should be motivated by yourselves. Self motivation is a ‘must thing’ if you are professional, sales person, student or anybody. In short, if you a human being, you should be self motivated for your success.
Below are ‘YOU MUST’ rules for self motivation. Check this out and see the changes in your life.

Rule 1) YOU MUST-Set your goals::: Note down in a book what you want to achieve as your goals. It should be differentiated as 'long term '(That may take some time) and 'short term'(which can be achieved soon) goals and what action plans are you going to imply to achieve those goals. Important part of this rule is that you should review this regularly (weekly or monthly as per your comfort).
Rule 2} YOU MUST-Reward Yourselves::::You can see around how companies or organizations are rewarding achievers for their success, like lunch, tours, cash, movie tickets etc . Same thing you can do for yourselves. It should be memorable and happen on every stage of your success.
Rule 3) YOU MUST-Learn from the failures:::: Every humans have gone through failures, you are not the only one. Remember Abraham Lincoln faced 14 major failures in his life before he became President of US!!!! Failing is not the matter, learning from failure is what matters. Take down the pen, write down your major failures in life. Write what was reason for them. (This part is important because you are not supposed to repeat those mistakes again). On your regular review, check whether you are repeating them.
Rule 4) YOUMUST-Never Procrastinate:::: Remember, PROCRASTINATION or postponement can be your biggest enemy!!! If you have something to be done, do it immediately. Just rewind your memories, you can find lots of losses, no matter small or big, you faced because of procrastination.
Rule5)YOU MUST-Fight with you::::Your ultimate boss is you. Remember, if you lose, you are the first person to suffer. If you win, you are the first person to enjoy. So, if you become lazy, scold you; If you are not utilizing your time, scold you. Remember, your manager can easily replace you, If you are not there, your friend may find another one. But, YOU CANNOT REPLACE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!
Rule6)YOU MUST-Have fun::::Give your mind and body pleasure. Discover what you like most for fun. Do it often. Find at least half an hour for recreation.
Keep in mind, self motivation is a vital part in your success. Practice these rules regularly, and your achievements will fall in place.

LAUGH AND ENJOY

4 OLD MEN


Four friends plans to go for a walk. One was late and the others were discussing about their children. First man said, “My son has acquired his own name in his field, he started his career as junior civil engineer, now he owns a famous construction company. He is very successful and last year he gifted his good friend a beautiful house in the heart of the city"
Now came the second man's turn. He said: " My son was just a car sales executive earlier, now he owns 7 branches of dealership companies, He became so successful that six months before he gifted his friend a brand new car."
"My son," started the third man, "was a sales assistant in a gold shop, now he is a success in jewelry industry, infact last summer he even gifted his best friend a huge collection of diamonds!!!"
When the fourth man arrived, they tells him about the discussion and asks him about his son. He says, “Being very frank, I was not at all happy with my son. He was doing nothing after his graduation, recently only I found that he is gay.Any way I am happy that he must be good at his activities because his boyfriends gifted him a beautiful new house, a brand new car and a huge collection of diamonds!!!!"
**********************************************************************************

LAWYER AND THE THE FARMER


Once a lawyer planned to go for bird hunt in village. There, he shot a bird and it flew and fell in front of a house.
"Any way it's mine" thought the lawyer and went to collect the bird. Then, came a farmer from the house, and he told that the bird is mine since it is in front of his home. The angry lawyer said:" look man, I have shot it, so I am the owner of the bird".
The quarrel went on for a long time and the lawyer said" see, I am a lawyer and I know the laws more than you and I can sue you for this"
"I don't agree with you" said the farmer, "Here in our village we have the kick rule to decide things"
"Right, Tell me how it works then?" asked the lawyer. Farmer replied,"Three times I will kick you very hardly as I can, Then you do the same. This process repeats for three times until on of us gives up".
Lawyer agrees to this and farmer says he will start first and kicks between the lawyer's legs very hardly.Poor lawyer fells down out of pain and he gets the second one straight on his face. He did not get enough time for scream while he got the third hit on his stomach. Lawyer, some how manages to get up and says its his turn now. Farmer replies:" No, I am quitting, you can have the duck!!!!!"

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Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

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