Unwanted feelings normally distructs our valuble time/ energy.
You worry about the future events that are never going to turn out. You feel guilty about events in the past since you were incorrect.
In both cases your present is being spoilt by being upset needlessly over past or future moments.
Now here is the vital question: What can be done to prevent such unproductive, unwanted feelings?
It is important to be realistic facing this question. The plan is to prevent feelings of unhappiness rather than to exchange them momentarily for feelings of ecstasy.
There are two options proposed by experts to move out of this destructive situation.The sequential events that happen to hinder your productive time/activity is shown below:
An exterior incident or occurance>>>>generate>>>>Various internal judgement and ideas>>>>generate>>>>An unnecessary feeling>>>>generate>>>>Hindered behavior/activity .
Now let us discuss the options to move out of this situation:
As the whole series of events begins with an external event, one option is to recognize the external event that tends to activate unproductive feelings and to organize yourself to avoid the external events. You can ask yourselves:” what external event has caused this feeling?”
If you can identify it, ask yourself “Can I do any thing to avoid or decrease my revelation to this external event in the future?”
If the reply is yes, figure out a suitable avoidance plan. If the answer is ‘no’ avoidance is not workable in this case and you should go for Option 2
Interfere among the thoughts/beliefs and their resulting feelings. Our scheme here is intentionally replacing the thoughts that generate the fruitless feeling. This kind of feelings should be controlled.
This sort of control is tough for emotional people to perform and hence they are the ones who need it most! Generally their heart rules their head.
It is easy to become subject to some frequent unrealistic thoughts or beliefs that throw you into deep misery/guilt when ever they are violated. This question can be asked yourselves:” How can I may more effective use of this present moment?”.
Force yourself to think of an effectual here -and- now action strategy, then go ahead and do it.
Other ways of thoughts have been proposed by experts to save you from unproductive feeling. They are all mindful thoughts and once you have experimented with them you will be able to take up your favorites or replace them with your own. Examples are:
No one can make me uncreative
I will make decision how/ what to do about that
Myself and only myself is the captain of my feelings
I am good enough
It can be done by me
It is reasonable to-
Why should I prefer to feel disturbed?
Why should I let him/her choose how I am going to feel
“Man doing nothing in negative events is a man dead”.